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  • Writer's pictureJoy Allen

Manipulative Connections

It grieves my heart to see so many people of God, especially women, feeling the need to receive everyone who decides to connect with you after breaking a relationship. We must not be enslaved to the world’s view of how a Christian should act.

Time and time again, we see it. People do something rude, crazy or disrespectful. Then, they walk out of your life. You and God move through the process of healing, deliverance, forgiveness, and restoration only for them to return and act as if it’s your responsibility to open yourself up to them again. Don’t get me wrong. Forgiveness is required. But your availability is NOT!

I have learned the hard way. People will make you feel guilty (if you let them) when you don’t comply with their expectations of you. That doesn’t make it sin! I’ve heard time and time again the story of the prodigal son and how we should receive people when they come back, regardless of their infractions. Let me help you… if it’s not YOUR son, feel free to send them back to their daddy! Even the prodigal son could only return to where he'd sown. Stop letting people use Scripture, clearly out of context, to manipulate you.

I have been the one who would answer the phone calls and messages that came from people I hadn’t heard from in years. I was the one that would loan the money and spend the time. Then, GOD HELPED ME! It’s not a sin to restrict your availability. Being available to everyone means that someone you’re divinely assigned to is missing out. It means that while all your time, money and energy are being wasted on distractions, your family, friends, and partners in ministry are receiving only leftovers.

It is okay, man of God… It is okay, woman of God… to say ‘no’. It’s okay to delete the message without responding, and it’s okay to dismiss the phone call. Today’s technology has trapped so many of us into a false sense of responsibility.

BE FREE! Even Jesus ran and hid from the crowds to be with His Father. Value your time and energy so you can spend them on those people to whom you are sent.

Be available to God, and He will connect you with the right people. If you simply connect to people, you will surely miss God!


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